Self-Validation - I believe
Self-validation is a crucial aspect of emotional well-being, as it allows individuals to acknowledge and accept their own feelings, thoughts, and experiences without relying on external approval. By practicing self-validation, we cultivate a deeper understanding of our thoughts and emotions, and affirm our right to feel them, which fosters resilience and self-compassion. This internal validation helps to build self-confidence and reduces the need for constant reassurance from others, empowering us to make choices that align with our personal values and desires. Moreover, self-validation encourages a healthier self-image, as it shifts the focus from seeking external affirmation to recognizing our intrinsic unconditional worth. Ultimately, embracing self-validation enhances our emotional intelligence, enabling us to navigate life's challenges with greater clarity and strength, and fostering healthier relationships both with ourselves and others.
BENEFITS
Here are some key benefits of self-validation:
Accept and understand yourself
Acknowledging your feelings helps you accept them without judgment, fostering a healthier emotional state. Explore your feelings and find the route cause, what thoughts are you having that triggered the emotion.Improved emotional regulation
Understanding and recognising your emotions helps you manage them more effectively, leading to better stress management.Increased self-esteem
By recognizing your worth and affirming your experiences, self-validation boosts your confidence and self-image. Learn to accept who you are, where you have come from, on your unique journey through your life.Fostering self-compassion
Recognizing your struggles and validating your feelings promotes kindness towards yourself, reducing self-criticism.Reduced dependency on others
Self-validation diminishes the need for external approval, allowing you to rely more on your own judgment and feelings. This reduces the chance of draining others of energy by demanding attention or being open to manipulation by others subject to the currency of approval.Healthier relationships
When you validate your own feelings, you’re less likely to seek approval from others, leading to more authentic and balanced interactions. You will bond more with balanced, emotionally healthy individuals and toxic relationships will evolve or fall away.Greater clarity
It helps you gain insight into your thoughts and emotions, leading to more informed decision-making and self-reflection. You will become more aware of those who try and manipulate or control you.Stronger boundaries
Self-validation allows you to understand your needs and feelings better, making it easier to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, strength and more control in your relationships.Enhanced resilience
By affirming your experiences, you become better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks with a positive mindset.Empowerment
Self-validation empowers you to take ownership of your experiences and choices, reinforcing a sense of agency in your life. It allows you to have a strong identity, to have the bravery to express yourself as an individual with the confidence to stand out and be the unique person that you are. You are clear and confident in your own views, preferences and choices without withering to peer pressure or sway from the crowd.
By cultivating self-validation, you can enhance your emotional well-being, have better relationships and create a more fulfilling life.
HOW TO GROW
Here are some tips for validating various aspects of yourself including:-
Emotions
Validating your emotions is a crucial step in fostering emotional well-being. It involves acknowledging and accepting your feelings as genuine responses to your experiences. Rather than dismissing or suppressing emotions, take the time to recognize what you’re feeling and why. This practice helps you understand your emotional landscape, allowing for healthier emotional regulation. By giving yourself permission to feel, you cultivate resilience and self-compassion, ultimately leading to a deeper connection with yourself and improved mental health. Know that your emotions are a flag for what you are thinking.
Skill Level
Validating your skill level is essential for personal and professional growth. It involves recognizing your competencies and achievements without undermining them. By taking inventory of your skills and reflecting on your accomplishments, you reinforce your confidence in your abilities. Seeking constructive feedback from constructive peers or mentors further enhances this validation, as it provides an external perspective on your strengths. Acknowledging your skill level empowers you to embrace challenges and pursue opportunities for growth, fostering a positive self-image and motivation to improve. Know that existing skills can be improved, new skills can be learnt and skills are always transferable.
Points of View
Validating your points of view is vital for developing a strong sense of self and confidence in your beliefs. This involves taking the time to reflect on the origins of your perspectives and recognizing that they are shaped by your unique experiences. Engaging in open dialogue with others allows you to articulate your thoughts and see the value in your viewpoints, even when faced with differing opinions. By affirming your beliefs, you empower yourself to stand firm in your convictions while remaining open to growth and understanding.
Decisions
Validating your decisions is an important practice that encourages self-trust and accountability. Every choice you make is a reflection of your values and judgment at that moment. By reflecting on past decisions, regardless of their outcomes, you can acknowledge the thought processes that guided you and learn from them. This practice fosters a sense of ownership over your choices and reinforces your ability to navigate future challenges. Recognizing that decision-making is a learning experience allows you to approach future choices with confidence and clarity. Know that your decisions don’t need validating by others in order to be taken or actioned. Make your decisions knowing that others may disagree with your choices and that’s ok.
Preferences
Validating your preferences is crucial for cultivating authenticity and self-acceptance. Embracing what you like—whether it’s in fashion, food, or hobbies—affirms your individuality and personal taste. Taking the time to explore your likes and dislikes without judgment helps you develop a clearer sense of self. Creating an environment that reflects your preferences further reinforces this validation, as it allows you to express who you are. Ultimately, honoring your preferences empowers you to live authentically and embrace the uniqueness of your identity. Know that you don’t need to justify your preferences to others.
Overall Identity
Validating your overall identity involves recognizing and celebrating the experiences and traits that shape who you are. This process includes reflecting on your journey, acknowledging your strengths and challenges, and embracing your unique background. Understanding that your identity is a tapestry of experiences allows you to appreciate your growth and evolution over time. By affirming your identity, you cultivate self-acceptance and confidence, empowering you to navigate life authentically and build meaningful connections with others. This validation forms a strong foundation for a fulfilling life, grounded in the understanding of your inherent worth. Know that you don’t need to justify to others any unchangeable aspects about you, such as your background, where you are from or how you naturally look. neither do you have to take on board or agree with others opinions regarding those aspects.
1. Acknowledge your emotions
Identify your true feelings
Take a moment to identify what you're feeling. Write them down if it helps.Allow yourself to feel
Give yourself permission to experience emotions without judgment, knowing they are valid and then explore where they have come from.
2. Celebrate your unique skills and experience
Make a skills inventory
List your skills and strengths. Reflect on how they have contributed to your achievements. What are your strengths and note your experience.Seek opportunities
Engage in activities that allow you to showcase your skills, reinforcing your confidence in them. Be prepared to build on those skills or amend them.
3. Value and explore your points of view
Practice active reflection
After discussions or debates, reflect on your viewpoints. Acknowledge that your perspective is shaped by your unique experiences. Remember though you have the right to choose not to defend your point of view.Engage in open dialogue
Share your thoughts with others and invite constructive conversations, reinforcing the validity of your viewpoints. Know that there is no ‘universal’ opinion that is correct. Everyone is entitled to their own unique point of view, without only being allowed to have it by validation from others.
4. Trust your decisions
Reflect on past decisions
Consider the rationale behind your past decisions and what you learned from them, regardless of the outcome. You are entitled to make decisions without them having to have ‘successful’ outcomes.Give yourself credit
Acknowledge the courage it takes to make decisions and be responsible for whatever the outcome should be. Remind yourself that it’s part of growth to be brave and responsible for both your wins and losses.
5. Honor your preferences
Explore what you love
Whether it’s music, food, or fashion, take time to explore and embrace your preferences without feeling the need to conform to the approval of others. Preferences are not about embracing the interests and preferences of others and taking them as our own in order to be validated by others.Create a comfort zone
Surround yourself with things that reflect your tastes, creating a joyful environment that feels true to you and your preferences.
6. Appreciate your style
Express yourself through fashion
Wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident, regardless of current trends, status labels or others’ opinions. Express yourself with what suits you and makes you shine.Reflect on your choices
Consider what your clothing choices say about you and celebrate the unique expression of your identity. It’s ok to change your look for different circumstances where you want to ‘say’ something to fit the situation. you may have a look for work and one for your personal time. You may need to dress differently for a job interview or a meeting with the bank and that’s no compromise on who you are as a unique person.
7. Recognize your journey
Reflect on your growth
Keep a journal to document your journey, highlighting challenges you've overcome and lessons learned. You may also start to see patterns in your behaviour where you have overcome weaknesses or need to focus on change and grow in certain areas.Create a personal narrative
Write down your story, emphasizing how your experiences have shaped who you are today. Often ‘negatives’ are our best teacher.
8. Practice self-affirmation
Daily affirmations
Create affirmations that resonate with your identity and values, repeating them to reinforce your self-worth. You may want to use affirmations that will push you along a journey to where you’d like to be.Visual reminders
Use quotes or images that inspire you, placing them where you’ll see them regularly. A mood board is a great energiser for future goals.
9. Engage with supportive communities
Connect with like-minded people
Join groups or communities that share your interests and values, providing validation and support and meet people with like-minded viewpoints.Seek mentorship
Find mentors who can offer guidance and encouragement, helping you to recognize your value and potential for the future.
10. Be kind to yourself
Practice self-compassion
Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your struggles and celebrate your strengths. It’s not your job to be perfect, only to grow and learn. Success is not a straight line and you are not a winning performance machine. Sometimes you will be tired, unmotivated, distracted or just not in the mood and that’s ok.Forgive yourself
Let go of past mistakes and recognize that they are part of your growth. You cannot change what you have done in the past, only grow to be a wiser, better person because of it.
By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can cultivate a deeper sense of validation for who you are, empowering you to embrace your identity and navigate the world with confidence without the need for validation from others.